A few blog posts ago I wrote about how life was like a road and to some extent it is.
If life is a road – albeit a non-linear road but a road nonetheless – then we are faced with three options: stay still, go back or keep moving forward.
A road can lead to another road and another road and inevitably lead to the destination. The destination with any journey is different for every person though, arguably, the journey is the most important aspect.
I said that staying still leads to the possibility of not developing, but can this actually be the opposite? Staying still allows for reflection and on a journey to a goal, self-reflection and self-assessment can be a key ingredient.
Three questions that should be asked: what? So what? And, now what?
Developed by John Driscoll asking these questions can help a person make a decision about a goal if they have any worries.
Asking what can allow a person to think about their decision. This could be: why am I down this path? Is this the right thing for me? These questions and others like them can be used in a reflective context to help a person see why and how they are on this journey.
Analyzing the event or even process can help in two ways: re-evaluating the decision to help you understand why you are where you are. This is true if you are in a place where you have doubts. You can secondly re-live. Was there something that happened which held you back? Was their a decision you made that could have been negative when you thought is was a positive one? How can these be turned around? So what is important in so many ways. It is the start of putting your ideas into place to get back on track. It is the beginning of a path to help you continue on your journey
Can be a difficult question. When you have thought of the event or decision and analysed it, what is next? Next is go on. Next is use what you know and what you didn’t know to not make the same mistake/s twice.
Going back can be attractive to someone especially if they have lost their way. The thought of starting again, almost setting the reset button can make a person feel better. A mind frame that has often baffled me is this notion of someone saying ‘I am going back to the old me’. By pretending they are: ‘going back to the old me’ often implies they have made some kind of mistake. By going back to this old version, a person will believe that they can possibly escape mistake and failure by re-visiting a more successful version of themselves. The question that should be asked is: was this version actually successful? Just because we have a view that by re-visiting a person who we deemed successful doesn’t mean it was.
Going back can prevent as many unknowns as going forward but relatively cannot be unchanged.
The past cannot be changed. The future is in your power – Unknown
It is best to leave the past in the past; walking down it can be dangerous, though it is ok to glance at it from time to time. Don’t concentrate on who you were especially if you feel lost or struggling. Concerntrate on who you are and who you could be. Moving forward is the key to success. The good times were good and going forward can create more good times.
If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place – unknown
Often moving forward seems simple – plot a target or path and go towards it – and it is!
What actually is the most difficult and as Erin Pavilina says her blog The Importance of letting Go is the ‘anchor’ everyone holds on to. Everyone holds on to something in the past and this deters them from going forward. She actually then goes on to say that the past is the past and we should let it go. This is true. Letting go of any anchored past will allow for change. This will give a clear mind and conscience to help tackle any problems that will come from the unknown path ahead. The past is never going to change but it can repeat itself.
The future that has not happened yet, but compared to the past it is something that we can change. Using the past can give the foresight needed to walk into the unknown. This can be from learning from mistakes to prevent us from doing them again or to help us build ourselves up.
The road to the end is difficult but nothing in life is easy. If it was easy then it wouldn’t be worth striving for. Staying still can help with reflection, but staying still to long can lead to others around advance. They will then be at the end of their journey while you are stuck in the same place. Going back is dangerous as there will be no progress made. Letting go of the anchor of the past is beneficial. The future is scary but that is exciting. It can be, but it is up to you. It is up to you to see how far down the road you go and if you make it to your destination.
(Feature Image: https://polysyllabicprofundities.com/tag/route-66/)